Here's what we'll cover

Home / Erectile Dysfunction

What Women Want Men To Stop Doing During Sex - And Things To Do Instead

Published 04/25/2025

Updated 04/25/2025

Sex should feel good for everyone involved—but too often, men don’t realize that some common habits are quietly turning women off. According to a 2023 global sex study, communication and mutual satisfaction remain two of the top predictors of fulfilling sexual relationships. If you've ever walked away from an intimate moment unsure if your partner really enjoyed it, you're not alone. In fact, many women in the Philippines have shared things they wish their partners would stop doing during sex—and more importantly, what they’d love instead.

At Andyou, we believe sexual wellness is about connection, confidence, and communication. This guide is here to help you create better experiences—not just for her, but for both of you.

What Women Wish Men Would Stop Doing in Bed

While these patterns are common, they aren’t always intentional. Many men simply don’t know what’s missing because sex education rarely teaches emotional intelligence or pleasure-focused connection. In conservative cultures, like here in the Philippines, where open conversations about intimacy are limited, it’s even more important to listen and learn from your partner’s feedback. Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or dating casually, paying attention to her unspoken cues and being open to change can completely transform how you both experience intimacy.

1. Rushing Straight to Penetration

Many women say their partner skips foreplay or only treats it like a quick step before "the main event." But here’s the truth: arousal doesn’t happen instantly. Most women need 10–20 minutes of buildup before penetration feels good or pleasurable. Skipping this can lead to discomfort, frustration, or even pain.

2. Being Too Quiet or Too Rough

No communication—verbal or physical—can leave a woman feeling disconnected. On the other hand, being overly aggressive or mimicking porn-style behavior without consent often ruins the mood. Balance and feedback are key.

3. Ignoring Her Pleasure

Women often report that their partners don’t prioritize their orgasm, or assume they’re satisfied without checking in. Clitoral stimulation, in particular, is essential for most women to climax.

4. Taking It Personally If She’s Not in the Mood

Sexual desire can fluctuate for many reasons: hormones, stress, or simply being tired. A negative or guilt-inducing reaction when she says “not tonight” makes it harder for her to feel safe and open in the future.

5. Assuming What Worked Once Will Always Work

Bodies change, and so do preferences. What felt amazing last month might not be the right move today. Every experience is different, and staying curious matters.

What to Do Instead: Practices That Build Connection and Pleasure

Sexual connection is about more than just physical touch—it’s about emotional safety, psychological arousal, and respect. Creating memorable experiences requires mutual trust and the willingness to adapt and evolve together over time. Here’s how men in the Philippines can strengthen intimacy and satisfaction in ways that truly resonate with their partners.

1. Prioritize Foreplay—And Learn What She Likes

Foreplay isn’t just a warm-up. It’s the part where trust, chemistry, and physical readiness are built. Kissing, caressing, oral sex, and even teasing through touch or words can make her feel more desired. Ask what turns her on and pay attention to her reactions.

2. Make Communication Sexy

Talk to her—before, during, and after. You can say things like:

"Do you like that?"
"Tell me what feels good."
"Want to try something new tonight?"

This keeps the moment connected, fun, and consensual. Afterward, a simple "How was that for you?" goes a long way.

3. Explore Her Pleasure (Not Just Yours)

Focus on her body and her pleasure. Studies like this one published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine show that most women are more likely to reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation than penetration alone. If she enjoys oral sex or clitoral stimulation, don’t just treat it as a quick step. Stay with it. You can even ask her to guide your hands or movements.

If you're unsure how to delay your own climax to give her more time, check out our expert-backed advice on lasting longer in bed.

4. Be Attentive to Her Signals

Is she tense, quiet, or turning away? Don’t ignore it. Check in gently. Something like, "Want to slow down?" or "Is that okay for you?" can make all the difference.

5. Try New Things Together

Exploration builds intimacy. Whether it’s a new position, toy, or fantasy, trying something new can make sex feel exciting and safe at the same time. Just make sure it’s mutual.

The Role of Sexual Health

It’s not just about being physically ready. Sexual confidence is deeply tied to your sense of self-worth, comfort in your body, and your ability to respond to your partner’s needs. That’s why understanding your sexual health is just as important as understanding your partner’s. Research published in the International Journal of Impotence Research emphasizes the connection between psychological wellness and erectile function—highlighting how anxiety, performance stress, and even poor sleep can impact desire and stamina. If your sex life is suffering due to performance issues, support is available.

In many cases, the root of disconnect during intimacy stems from unresolved sexual health issues. Anxiety around performance, shame about past experiences, or lack of education around anatomy can all play a role. As we discussed in our breakdown of how ED medications work in the Philippines, medical support can be a powerful tool for confidence.

Sometimes, stress about performance or insecurity about erections can impact how you show up during sex. For men struggling with these issues, our guide on what causes ED in Filipino men offers science-backed insights. If you're dealing with premature ejaculation or ED, know that you’re not alone—and it’s treatable.

Regaining Confidence Together

Long-term relationships thrive on sexual compatibility and growth. Trying new experiences together—whether that’s scheduling time for intimacy, reading erotica, or practicing guided touch—can build deeper emotional bonds. It's also worth remembering that according to a study published in Sexual and Relationship Therapy, couples who openly communicate about sex are more satisfied, more connected, and have more frequent intimacy.

Great sex starts with listening, learning, and letting go of ego. When you focus on what feels good for both partners, it becomes something more meaningful—and a lot more fun.

If you’re ready to explore a healthier, more connected sex life, Andyou is here to help. From science-backed treatments to expert articles, we’re here for every step of the journey.