What to Say During Sex

Why Talking During Sex Matters

Sexual communication strengthens intimacy in ways that physical touch alone cannot. According to WebMD, clear communication during intimacy leads to more fulfilling relationships and stronger emotional bonds.

Here’s what talking during sex can do:

• Enhance Emotional Connection: Words make love-making more than just a physical act—it becomes a deeply emotional exchange.
  

• Boost Consent and Safety: Checking in verbally ensures that both partners feel comfortable and respected.
  

• Increase Arousal: Verbal stimulation is a real thing. Hearing sexy affirmations or desires can enhance physical arousal.
  

• Build Confidence: Positive feedback during sex can help partners feel desired, skilled, and secure.
  

• Avoid Miscommunication: Expressing needs or discomfort immediately prevents misunderstandings and keeps intimacy safe and enjoyable.
  

Before You Start: Setting the Stage

If you’re not used to talking during sex, it can feel awkward at first. That's okay. Like anything intimate, it gets better with time and trust.

Tips for setting a comfortable foundation:

• Talk Outside the Bedroom: Discuss with your partner beforehand what kinds of words or phrases feel exciting or comforting.
  

• Agree on Boundaries: Make sure you both know what’s off-limits to avoid miscommunication.
  

• Create a Safe Atmosphere: Make it clear that either partner can stop or redirect at any time without embarrassment.
  

• Use Humor: Laughing together lightens the mood and builds comfort.
  

• Normalize It: Remind each other that trying new ways to connect, even verbally, is healthy and exciting.
  

Building this comfort outside of intimacy moments makes it easier to express yourself genuinely when things heat up.

Simple Ways to Start Talking During Sex

You don't need to launch into complicated dirty talk immediately. Start simple.

• "You feel so good."
  

• "I love the way you touch me."
  

• "I want more of you."
  

• "You’re driving me crazy."
  

These easy statements reinforce connection and let your partner know that you’re fully present and enjoying the moment.

According to Healthline, positive reinforcement enhances not only emotional safety but also physical pleasure.

What to Say to Increase Connection

During lovemaking, reinforcing emotional intimacy matters. Try phrases like:

• "I love being this close to you."
  

• "It feels amazing to be connected to you."
  

• "You're everything I've wanted."
  

• "I feel so safe and happy with you."
  

Affectionate language fosters feelings of security, making your partner more open to exploration and deeper intimacy.

What to Say to Build Arousal

Words can turn up the heat. Some examples:

• "I can't get enough of you."
  

• "I’ve been thinking about this all day."
  

• "I love hearing you moan."
  

• "Watching you is driving me wild."
  Using descriptive language engages your partner's senses and adds excitement. Erotic anticipation fuels deeper connection.

How to Give Direction Kindly

Sometimes, guiding your partner gently can improve your experience without hurting feelings. Use encouraging language:

• "Softer, please."
  

• "Stay right there."
  

• "Just like that."
  

• "I love it when you move slower."
  

Making it sound like a compliment instead of a correction keeps the mood positive and sexy.

How to Ask What They Want

Consent and exploration go hand-in-hand. Asking questions shows that you care about their pleasure too.

Examples:

• "Do you like that?"
  

• "Tell me what you want."
  

• "Where do you want my hands?"
  

• "Is there something new you want to try?"
  

Open-ended questions invite feedback and keep the experience collaborative and exciting.

Tips for Overcoming Shyness

If you feel awkward at first, that's normal. Here’s how to ease into it:

• Practice in the mirror: Say simple phrases aloud until they feel natural.
  

• Start Slowly: Whisper one phrase at a time during intimate moments.
  

• Focus on Your Partner: Think less about saying the perfect thing and more about how your partner is responding.
  

• Laugh Together: If something feels silly, laugh it off! Humor can make intimacy even stronger.
  

• Praise Yourself: Remember, every step toward vulnerability is a win.
  

The more you practice, the more natural talking during sex will feel.

Advanced Dirty Talk (When You're Ready)

When both partners are comfortable, you can explore more explicit language to heighten passion.

Tips for dirty talk:

• Stay Authentic: Only say what genuinely excites you.
  

• Use Descriptive Words: "I love feeling your body pressed against mine" vs. "This feels good."
  

• Match the Energy: Keep your tone aligned with the mood—tender, commanding, playful, or wild.
  

• Narrate Desires: Tell your partner what you want to do to them, what you love about what they’re doing, or what you want them to do next.
  

For additional tips, Vogue India’s Dirty Talk Guide offers great advice.

Phrases You Can Try (At Every Stage)

Before Sex:

• "I can’t wait to have you."
  

• "You’re so beautiful."
  

• "I’ve been wanting you all day."
  

During Sex:

• "You drive me crazy."
  

• "Don’t stop."
  

• "I want you even deeper."
  

• "Let me hear you."
  

Climaxing:

• "I’m so close."
  

• "Stay with me."
  

• "Let’s finish together."
  

After Sex:

• "That was incredible."
  

• "I love being with you."
  

• "You make me feel alive."
  

• "Let’s stay like this a little longer."
  

Common Mistakes to Avoid

• Sounding Overly Scripted: Natural beats rehearsed every time.
  

• Ignoring Responses: Always stay tuned to how your partner is reacting.
  

• Using Insensitive Language: Stay respectful, even during intense passion.
  

• Trying Too Much Too Soon: Ease into verbal intimacy at a pace comfortable for both partners.
  

Communication After Sex

Talking after sex can be just as powerful. It shows that you value the emotional connection, not just the physical one.

Examples:

• "Was there anything you especially liked?"
  

• "Is there something new you’d like to try next time?"
  

• "How did that feel for you?"
  

These conversations help strengthen your bond and lead to even better experiences in the future.

Talking Dirty in Filipino (Optional)

If you and your partner are comfortable, mixing Filipino expressions can add a layer of intimacy.

Examples:

• "Gusto kitang maramdaman." (I want to feel you.)
  

• "Sobrang init mo." (You’re so hot.)
  

• "Hindi na kita kayang tiisin." (I can't resist you anymore.)
  

Blending languages can feel more personal and heartfelt.

Building a Healthier Intimate Life

Strong sexual communication leads to stronger relationships. Over time, talking during sex creates:

• Deeper trust
  

• More adventurous intimacy
  

• Greater emotional satisfaction
  

Partners who communicate sexually tend to report higher relationship satisfaction overall, according to a study published in the Journal of Sex Research.

If you're looking for expert-backed advice on health, wellness, and personal care, andyou.ph offers a wide range of science-driven resources made specifically for the Filipino community.

Remember: Sexual communication is not about being perfect—it’s about being present, open, and attentive to your partner’s needs.